I've loved again, and again, and again, and again, and...well you get the picture. The thing is I find myself once again in the position of having to open up and allow love in. Every time I tell myself I won’t love again. Every time after my heart has broken to a thousand pieces, every time I've cried my eyes out, gotten ridiculously depressed, have lost myself in another, have had to go on a spiritual vision quest, moved homes, written enough teen angst poetry I find myself back to love. Not gonna lie I'm usually kicking and screaming, but it finds me just like the Stephen King film The Shinning where Jack Nicholas is coming through the door with an ax yelling “Here’s Johnny!”  

Here’s the funny thing about love that after all the true deep loves I've felt in this life, is that you just have to keep opening yourself up to love. As much as it hurts, as much as you're scared of it, as much as you told yourself not again. The thing is we all want love, true deep romantic love. Don’t get me wrong if you don’t want someone else in your life or many who knows I don’t judge. One thing rings true 99% of people when I'm reading their palm, cards, energy all have a little spark of light ignite when the mention of a romantic partner is on the horizon. We all want love, whether its fulfilled by you or another. After all the partners I've truly loved, they have all taught me so much and showed me all forms of love, in all beautiful outlets. I know I’m not the only one to say that they wouldn’t be the person who they are if they had been with people they have once deeply loved. Love changes you. Cliche I know but true, the core of who you are stay's but you soften or become stronger depending on the love the universe laid in front of you.   

Some are soul mates, some are twin flames (yes they can come and go within one life), some are lust love drivers, some are life partners, some are teachers or mirrors, some are challengers, some are just to lighten your spirits again, and others become nothing but fleeting moments on a hot summers breeze. But one thing is certain even if for one stare that saw you for all of you with true utmost love, was love. Sometimes all it takes is a moment of loving someone that crashes all of who you thought you were because they could see all of who you could be and so much more.

  I’ve been there, trust me, telling myself not to love again, and oh ya I push hard to keep love away. The universe is sneaky you see and will open you up to love whether you like it or not. Even if you’re not completely ready it will challenge you to heal, to grow, and to allow love in again. The choice is though is how bad you want love true deep authentic love. To be loved for all of you and I mean all of you, even the parts you hate the most. The universe has nothing but to meet you where you are at with how much you’re wanting to be loved. Not only by another but by who you truly are. If you’re still hiding aspects of yourself within your shadows your partner will reflect that within where you are in that relationship. Sorry to lay down a truth bomb but the thing you hate or get annoyed with your partner is usually the thing that you haven’t accepted in yourself. Showing you your ugly truths.

  So if a relationship doesn’t work out I never think of it as that you weren’t right for each other but that you two couldn’t truly accept the parts of you that you didn’t like at that time. And that is ok! Because who knows maybe not that day, month, year or years, or even within this lifetime, but the one thing that stays true is that there was love. If you felt it that's all that matters. You don’t have to convince anyone that they did or didn’t love you, at one point if you felt it then that's all that matters. Also, know the universe sees more of the truth than you ever will. So if you really, really thought you were supposed to be together but aren't there is a reason, I will promise you this. You might not see it right away or maybe ever, just know the universe, your guides, your angels, your ancestors were and are looking after you. Even if you think they’ve turned a blind eye they are and were always there, sending you small hints that you just weren’t ready to see.  

 The only thing that I will say is just to don’t ever stop allowing love in. Romantic, platonic, or just a general sense of love, whatever you do don’t stop yourself from loving. Sure take time for yourself, if you need time away go on a vacation, if you need to focus only on friends or family do it, there is no wrong way of taking a break making sure to love the most important person first and foremost, you! Love you first. Only once you feel like you’re loving who you are again, can you love others, support others, be kind, and share with others. Only then.  Just don’t ever stop allowing love in because I promise after all the heartache, tears, counselor, healers, time off, one night stands, whatever the fuck you need to get yourself back. After you’ve come back from your own personal hell, will love come for you again Johnny style. The thing is this time you will be ready, this time you will want to be loved because you will know your worth, and you will stare Johnny dead in the eyes with a look that will have love shaken in its boots!

With all the love from your white light witch,
-Emma