She cringed as the words flew from their lips. “You’re being too much for me right now.”
It wasn’t the first time she heard those exact words directed at her, yet it stung just the same. Why was it that these words stung so? Because she was and has always been an energetic soul, since birth, who felt a little outta place. There was so much life in her and only the world to explore!
So why was it that every time she heard those words directed at her she went inward and began dulling her light, her essence, her very being? It was that in her love for others around her, especially her friends and family. When they expressed that she was being too much she thought keeping herself small would make them more comfortable. Which it did for a while. There was a small amount of peace, for a time. Until she started to get excited about life again and started doing, being, and acting more, making those around her more uncomfortable again. So in a vicious cycle, they would tell her to stop again, and she would listen until one day…
Her own healer told her “Maybe it isn’t that you are too much, but they are too little.”
Then it hit!
Like a lightning bolt.
All this time she was staying the same small, dull, and sheltered person because she thought it was helping others when in reality it was quite the opposite. By herself not being the brightest most illuminating self, she didn’t challenge others to join her. In her exploration of who she came here to be, she had lost her way. People don’t like change, we all know this, but change is good, and honestly going to happen whether one likes it or not.
Her biggest fear was that she would be left alone being bold, and too much on her own. Though this wasn’t the case. Sure some people faded away, and others who were once close became not as close as they once were. For a little while, she felt lonely but slowly others started to notice her. So instead she found herself surrounded by others who wanted in on this energy, and better yet wanted even more!
It’s ok that others can’t keep up with you, because maybe they’re not ready yet. They might be one day, but you shouldn’t hold yourself back to make them comfortable. In that scenario, you are doing both yourselves a disservice. In the end, you only have control over your actions, so you get to choose to live your “too much” life when you choose to. If they want to join you, awesome! There is more than enough room in the world for everyone! If they aren’t ready yet, you can wish them the best on their journey, which who knows maybe one day might change. Maybe one day they will decide that they’d like to be more, and maybe you’ll be the one to inspire that. Who knows! All you’ll have to know is that you are allowed to be as much as you’d like to be! That’s it!
It might not be that you are too much, it might be surrounding yourself with people who are keeping you too small.
Excited to be back blogging, too much and all!
With love n’ light,
-E